ARTICLES ABOUT EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION

I have hired more people in my life than I can remember. And despite the exceptionally low staff turnover within my companies, it is of course an illusion to think that someone will work with you forever. New opportunities appear. Sometimes things do not work out as smoothly as everyone had hoped. Sometimes someone wants a different role, another company or a complete change of career. And sometimes, as an employer, you are the person who decides that it is time to part ways.

When people write a eulogy for a funeral or cremation, they usually ask themselves: what should I say? But perhaps that is not the first question. The first question is: who am I really speaking for? You are speaking to someone who can no longer answer. You are talking about someone who meant something different to every person in the room. And at the same time, you bring yourself, your memories and your grief into the speech. At the end of this article, you can read both an

Almost anyone can publish an article now. AI can produce two thousand reasonably convincing words before most people have decided what they actually think. Social media gives us an endless stream of opinions, observations, lists, lessons and advice. Search engines and AI platforms increasingly provide answers without requiring us to visit the websites from which those answers originated. So why would a leader, entrepreneur or expert still maintain a blog? Yes, blogging still

Sometimes you meet someone and relax within minutes. The conversation flows, silences do not feel awkward, and you sense that you do not have to keep explaining yourself. With someone else, the exact opposite happens. They have barely said anything wrong, yet you already feel resistance. You become restless, critical or tired. Perhaps their speaking pace irritates you. Perhaps it is the way they look at you, hesitate, make decisions or seem unable to move towards anything at

On charisma, energy and Silent Authority Thought Leadership. Years ago, I met Satyanarayana Dasa Babaji in Faridabad, India. He was a spiritual teacher with followers around the world. During our meeting, he asked whether he could stay with me whenever he visited the Netherlands. What stayed with me most was not only what he said. It was the calm he radiated. There was something mystical about his presence, yet at the same time something remarkably grounded. He seemed to have

The tuning fork methodology, resonance, and the difference between attunement and compatibility. Place two identical tuning forks opposite each other. Strike one and leave the other untouched. The first tuning fork begins to vibrate visibly, setting the air around it in motion. Because the second tuning fork is tuned to the same frequency, it picks up the vibration. Without anyone touching it, the silent tuning fork begins to produce sound as well. This phenomenon is called r

Six memorable communication and listening principles for leaders, meetings, workshops and difficult conversations Whenever I lead a group session or give an on-stage presentation, there is usually at least one person who catches my attention before they have even said a word. You probably know the type. Their posture is slightly closed, their eyes are alert and they seem to be carefully examining every sentence for the one detail that may not be entirely correct. While most p

I did not start with the idea of replacing myself. That was never the point. I did not sit down one day and think: how can I build a digital version of Ben so I no longer have to show up? The thought was much more innocent than that, and also more interesting. What would happen if AI was not only fed with information, but with a way of looking? Not just articles, frameworks and methods, but also tone, rhythm, questions, beliefs, boundaries, irritation with vague answers, and

AI Ben surprised me again. Not because the avatar looked realistic. Not because the voice worked. Not because the technology did something flashy. This time it was much simpler than that. After every session, someone can receive a transcript of the conversation. Someone I coach sent me one of those transcripts, and for the first time I could read how a conversation with AI Ben had actually unfolded from the inside. The conversation was about setting boundaries. At least, that

If there is one thing that still amazes me almost every day, it is how creative people are. Sometimes brilliantly creative. Sometimes hopelessly creative. Take the spoon, for example. Spoons already existed in ancient times, among the Egyptians, Greeks and Romans. So you might think we had figured that thing out by now. A handle, a bowl, food in it, done. But no. Every year, hundreds of new spoons are designed again. Not because the existing spoon has suddenly failed on a mas

I still remember the first time I decided to take singing lessons. It was years ago, together with my former wife. I had asked for the lesson myself, so there was no one to blame, but the moment the teacher looked at me and asked, “Do you ever sing?” I immediately felt something tighten in my body. “Yes,” I said. “In the shower. Or in the car when I am alone.” She smiled and said, “Good. Then let me hear something.” The shivers went through my whole body. Me? Singing in front

Why some people sound like noise, and others sound like a future you want to join. As a kid you asked it all the time. “Why, mom?” Why are we doing this, why are we going there, why does it matter, and why now. You were not being dramatic. You just wanted a map, because without a map everything feels random, and random feels unsafe. Then you grow up and you stop asking it out loud. You still think it, though. You sit in a meeting while someone announces, “We need to change th

We all do it, whether we realise it or not. We speak from fear. Sometimes that is obvious. Your voice trembles, your stomach tightens, and your mouth says “yes” while your whole body is really screaming “run.” But more often fear enters in a much smarter way. Then it wears a neat suit. Then it sounds reasonable, mature and strategic. Then it calls itself logic, certainty, common sense or experience. You would be surprised how many discussions, plans, decisions and even grand

Ships don’t sink because of the water around them. They sink because of the water they let in… I was sitting on a terrace when a friend of mine walked up. Even from a distance, I could see it in her face. She was trying to smile, trying to show that she was happy to see me, but anyone could see something wasn’t right. Her sadness was visible long before she spoke. I asked her gently if she was okay, but before I could even finish the question, a tear had already formed. She s

My stepson recently hosted his end-of-school-year party at my place. Dozens of energetic sixteen-year-olds - boys and girls - bouncing through the house, the garden, and in my case, the jacuzzi. It can be a bit of a challenge, sure. But mostly, it’s joy. And yes, finding a stray sock or swim trunk weeks later in some unexpected corner of the house? That’s just part of the deal. But that evening turned out to be different from the ones before. Around six in the morning, when I

At the beginning of this century, my marriage was struggling. I was drinking a bit too much and often found myself emotionally unbalanced. I never became physically aggressive, but I could become quickly and intensely irritated or agitated over all kinds of things. My then-wife, much gentler by nature, would sometimes watch me with a shake of her head and a heavy heart. One day, we decided to address both our marital issues and my unhealthy relationship with alcohol by hiring